On The Walachian Trail

On the Walachian Trail errata

Act 1a

• expect -> expected 
• empty -> devoid
• horse drawn -> horse-drawn

Act 1b

• made your -> found the
• it justice -> it any justice
• You are -> seems more like burglary, usually you announce yourself -> insert: After announcing yourself, the butler welcomes you. You are.. 
• to palatial -> to the available palatial (there is no connection between the meal and the sleeping)

Act 4a 

• a t at a t eat a t e a t a t e a t eat are bold. Why.

Act 4b 

• had once been -> once was
• turns -> matches
• peeling -> before peeling
• creatures -> creature's

Agenda 1a

• are -> lie

Agenda 1b

• gather that -> feel (I think you don't know yet the mansion is the Baron's, it might need some explanation)
• Sun -> sun

Agenda 2a

• that lessens is focusing -> (not yet lessening) -> that could lessen would be to focus
• could hear -> heard
• a moment -> moments

Agenda 3a

• Nights End -> not plural -> Night's End
• close -> not shut -> closer

Agenda 3b

• crumple -> more for paper -> sink /collapse / fall

Stanislaus

• Stannislaus -> remove n, unless it's the other card, but how can you know stannislaus is in play?

Rigged Trap

• this card -> Rigged Trap

Dark Looks

• font too small.
• shorten: If your hand has Dark Looks, Dark Looks gains surge. Otherwise, add Dark Looks to your hand. 
• While DL is in your hand = unnecessary, DL is always in your hand.
• fluff:  remove: like looks of the locals -> the locals' looks

Fearsome gust

• add a dot.

Hellhound:

• fluff: creatures -> creature's

Mines

• lay beneath -> either lurk beneath, or lay ahead

Mountain Path

• a mine -> (this one, not a random one) -> the mine
• open air -> (air is not open) -> open hill country air

Battered Stetson

• font too small.

Scenario page 4

• Exiting the train -> train station
• why would you have a blank piece of paper clenched in your fists when you just had a letter while on the train? If you intend that the ink disappears, then I'd be ok with: "As you exit the train station, you suddenly shudder, as if a chill just ran up your spine. What you held onto tightly, now drifts to the floor unnoticed, a blank piece of paper."

page 6

• neck -> neck keeps

page 8

• as time -> in time
• that seem -> , seemingly 
• would reverse the sentence, as now the lightning bolt seems to refer to the rain.

page 9

• none -> no

page 10

• as though -> like

misc remarks:

• writing style of senario is good, but act/agenda cards could be more "show, don't tell", add some sensory input for example;
• card numbering is always 1/1 (bottom of cards)
• i would move the Don't Use cards into a separate directory called Don't Use, to not confuse print folk.

Thank you for taking a look. I'll be making a round of edits soon, hopefully this weekend. responses to a few things:

Font: I'll review the font, but most cases where its small is a constraint of the strange eons program and the amount of text on the card. I tried to cut it down as best I could.

Card numbers: Honest answer, card numbering was taking too much time, and I got tired of it. I'm going to try and get back in and update. Its a lot of cards, so kudos to those with full campaigns that are numbered...

bolded text: [spoiler title="Bolded text"] Its a joke/easter egg of sorts [/spoiler]

blank note paper: [spoiler title="Explanation"] Conceptually, there wasn't anything on the paper. It's vampiric suggestion, and its just easier for the investigator to have soemthing physical that they think they're looking at. I chose not to spell it out in the narrative, a bit of mystery [/spoiler]

Kos - Thanks for the edit suggestions. I did end up incorporating many of them. Some I updated in a different way, and there were a few I left as is (call it artistic difference).

For anyone that has downloaded this, I've updated the files to fix a few critical errors on cards. Most importantly:

1. fixed connection information on the slums and mines.
2. fixed some instructions on the act/agenda cards
3. Changed the clues on the starting location to encourage investigators to spread out more.

I've also tweaked flavor text throughout.

Great!